Monday, February 25, 2008


Dance, cheer, jiggle

It doesn't happen very often, but every once in a while you can catch a Florida Marlins home game on TV. The first thing you'll notice is the fact that there are more people on the playing field than there are in the stands. That's an exaggeration, I know, but it ain't too awful far from the truth. I don't have any official figures to back up my claim, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the Marlins have had the worst home attendance record in Major League Baseball at least since the Expos moved from Montréal.

As if the Marlins didn't have enough trouble putting asses in the seats, it looks like they're now determined to run off what remaining fans they have:

"The Florida Marlins are creating an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad to be dubbed the Manatees. ...

"The team hopes to recruit seven to 10 tubby men to dance, cheer, and jiggle during Friday and Saturday home games this season."

Whenever I travel to big league cities, if you will, I always try to catch a ballgame. If, for whatever reason, I find myself in Miami this year, I don't think I'll be going to a Marlins game ... even if I get free tickets. After watching the Nashville Predators' Goal Girls all winter, I don't think my stomach could take a bunch of chubby men jiggle at the ol' ballyard.

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