The Nigh Seen Creeder

The worst place on earth in which a feller can get into a heated political discussion is in church. I now know this from personal experience. Lemme tell you 'bout my experience yesterday in my church's parking lot.

A fellow church-goer - I'll call him "Dave" - and I were strolling through the parking lot talking about, of all things, the space shuttle (Discovery did recently return return to earth, you know). When we stopped at my car, Dave spied the John McCain bumper sticker on my car. "You're voting for McCain?" he asked -- with an emphasis on "You're." In reply I said, "Yup."

Well, Dave ain't no John McCain fan, lemme tell you. After regaling me with a 100-word tirade about "old" John McCain, Dave told me that B. Hussein Obama "is the only person who can save America."

Since I really didn't want to enmesh myself in a discussion on why America needs "saving," I told Dave that I wouldn't be supporting B. Hussein 'cause (A) he's a quasi-socialist and (B) 'cause he has a thin resume. I really got Dave worked up with my "resume" quip. He said, "I get sick and tired of Republicans saying that [B. Hussein] hasn't done anything the last four years." Ch-Ch ... I cocked my rhetorical shotgun and ... FIRE!

"Dave, can you name me one accomplishment B. Hussein can lay claim to while he's been in the U.S. Senate?" I asked. Dave responded thusly: "He's passed some things to help families and workers." I repeated Dave's response back to him, and then I asked, "Passed what, exactly?" After listening to Dave "uh" and "ah" for about 30 seconds, I told him: "I will buy you lunch at any restaurant in Antioch or LaVergne if you can name me one piece of legislation that B. Hussein Obama has sponsored and passed into law."

Dave responded to my free lunch offer with a similar question (direct quote): "Can you name a law that McCain's passed?" "McCain-Feingold" came right out my mouth. I repeated my offer to buy Dave lunch if he could name me one law with B. Hussein's name at the top. I must've had one smirky-ass smile on my face when I repeated the question 'cause Dave turned on his heel and stomped off toward his car. I couldn't help but wonder why he didn't try to fool me with a made-up, official-sounding law -- The [B. Hussein]-Kennedy Women And Children First Act -- when a free meal was on the line. Hell, he would've gotten a free lunch if he'd been so ballsy, indeed.

I know Dave ain't the only Obama supporter who's pretty damn ignorant 'bout what the Savior, er, Senator's hasn't accomplished while he's been in Washington, D.C. What truly concerns me these days, however, is that current polls show that a majority of Americans want said Savior, er, Senator -- who was a backbencher in the Illinois legislature just four short years ago -- to be their President. It's a wonder I can sleep at night ...