The Nigh Seen Creeder

I watch a lot of baseball. And by "a lot" I mean this: I broke down and purchased Major League Baseball's Extra Innings package on DirecTV. I've missed maybe a dozen Red Sox games this season, and I don't intend to miss very many more.

During my baseball overload this year (and I'm using "overload" in a good way), I've come to the following conclusion: The Walk-Off Homer Helmet Hurl is one fad that needs to come to an end ... NOW!

For the uninitiated, a walk-off homer takes place when a member of the home team hits a home run in the bottom of the ninth, or tenth, or eleventh, etc., inning thus allowing his team to "walk off" the field with a victory.

Within the last three or four years, it's become extra-fashionable for entire Major League teams to take to congregating at home plate whenever a teammate hits a walk-off home run. Then, the feller who hits a home run hurls his helmet just before he reaches the plate. And then he and his teammates pogo-jump like they're at a Mighty Mighty Bosstones concert circa 1993.

The first few helmet-hurls were pretty cool, I guess. But it didn't take long for helmet-hurling and home plate pogo-jumping to become a clichéd spectacle.

When I was playing high school baseball, my coach suddenly announced that he expected us all to run out to home plate whenever one of our teammates hit a home run (high-fivin' and all that, you know). I wasn't a prolific home run hitter, but I was good for 10 or 12 each season. I let it be known that I would not high-five anyone, or otherwise celebrate, when I hit a home run. I stated, quite unequivocally, that I would sprint around the bases, touch home plate, and sprint to the dugout.

Sprint. Touch home plate. Sprint. That's all the professionals - that is, the Major Leaguers - need to do. So there.