Friday, August 29, 2008
Unconventional Wisdom
The current Sports Illustrated has a "vision" of a golf world governed by either the Republicans or the Democrats. It's pretty funny. To wit:
If the PGA Tour were run by ...
Commissioner
Republicans: Condi Rice
Democrats: Keith Olbermann
Headquarters
Republicans: Ponte Vedra, Florida
Democrats: Burlington, Vermont
Official Vehicle
Republicans: Hummer
Democrats: Prius
Majors
Republicans: Charlton Heston Memorial; Ozone Hole Open; Ayn Rand Rich Pro-Richer Am
Democrats: San Francisco Very Mixed Four-ball; Fair Trade Coffee Match Play; The Entitlement Open
New Rules
Republicans: Unlimited clubhead size
Democrats: Clintons (Unlimited mulligans)
Course Feature
Republicans: Flagsticks replaced by oil derricks
Democrats: Fairway wind farms
Purse Structure
Republicans: 1st, $1.4 million (100% tax deductible); 2nd, $1 million; 3rd, $750,000; 4th, $500,000; 5th and below, $0
Democrats: 1st, $5,675; 2nd, $5,674; 3rd, $5,673; 4th, $5,672; 5th and below, $5,671
Slogan
Republicans: "These Guys Are Good and You're Not, So Suck on It."
Democrats: "These Guys Would Be Even Better If They Got a Federal Skills-Development Grant"
If the PGA Tour were run by ...
Commissioner
Republicans: Condi Rice
Democrats: Keith Olbermann
Headquarters
Republicans: Ponte Vedra, Florida
Democrats: Burlington, Vermont
Official Vehicle
Republicans: Hummer
Democrats: Prius
Majors
Republicans: Charlton Heston Memorial; Ozone Hole Open; Ayn Rand Rich Pro-Richer Am
Democrats: San Francisco Very Mixed Four-ball; Fair Trade Coffee Match Play; The Entitlement Open
New Rules
Republicans: Unlimited clubhead size
Democrats: Clintons (Unlimited mulligans)
Course Feature
Republicans: Flagsticks replaced by oil derricks
Democrats: Fairway wind farms
Purse Structure
Republicans: 1st, $1.4 million (100% tax deductible); 2nd, $1 million; 3rd, $750,000; 4th, $500,000; 5th and below, $0
Democrats: 1st, $5,675; 2nd, $5,674; 3rd, $5,673; 4th, $5,672; 5th and below, $5,671
Slogan
Republicans: "These Guys Are Good and You're Not, So Suck on It."
Democrats: "These Guys Would Be Even Better If They Got a Federal Skills-Development Grant"
# posted by Joltin' Django @ Friday, August 29, 2008 
