The Nigh Seen Creeder

I don't read GQ very often. First of all, a GQ magazine is about 75 percent ads for watches, cologne, and tacky-ass sport coats I wouldn't be caught dead wearing. Second, GQ's articles are not only all penned by Upper West Side hipster doofi who are too clever for their own good, they're usually excruciatingly boring to read.

There's a table at my office where my co-workers and I share magazines. Someone brought several GQs a couple of weeks ago, one of which had Adriana Lima - of Victoria's Secret fame - on the cover. Naturally, I had to give it a look-see.

The magazine in question was dated April 2008. In additional to the Lima pictoral, it had a piece on uniform changes several Major League Baseball teams were implementing for the 2008 season. Here's what it said about the Tampa Bay Rays new unis:

"[T]he Devil Rays ... are now officially just the Rays and have completely overhauled their uniforms. The new set is so incredibly bland it may put fans to sleep -- which is a better fate than actually watching a Rays game."

Unless you've been living in a hole, you know the Rays are not only going to the playoffs, they won the American League East with one of the best records in baseball. Anyone who knew anything about baseball going in to the 2008 season were fully aware that the Rays were going to be anything but boring. Indeed, I boldly told a friend of mine, about four weeks after the season began, that by mid-August the Rays would be contending for a playoff spot. I predicted they would fade in September, but I knew enough about their roster full of young arms and bats to know that the Rays would be fielding a strike-throwing, run-generating team.

Unfortunately, I didn't jot down the name of the feller (or fellers) who made the ridiculous statement 'bout the Tampa Bay Rays, so I can't call him (or them) out directly. Nevertheless, the next time GQ magazine wants to go opining about baseball, they need to give the assignment to someone who actually knows something about baseball.