The Nigh Seen Creeder

I played football when I was in junior high. One day my teammates and I were on the football field waiting for practice to start when a kid in my class grabbed his stomach and started groaning. When asked what was the matter, he said, and I quote: "I must've gotten a hold of some hard cheese at lunch." Before we knew it he was bent over behind some bushes ... and let's just say he wasn't looking for four-leaf clovers.

From that day forward, my friends and I adopted "I must've gotten a hold of some hard cheese" as a euphemism for stomachaches, headaches, sore throats, and every other malady under the sun. Indeed, when a sixth-grader was stricken with appendicitis in the middle of the elementary school lunchroom, my friends and I, naturally, said hard cheese was what did him in.

Well, I must've got hold of some hard cheese this past Sunday 'cause I've been sick all week. Now, by sick I don't mean being a little under the weather sick. Oh, no, I was so sick earlier this week that I didn't eat nothin' for two straight days. And the whole not eating thing ... that, my friends (apologies to John McCain), means I was really sick.

I mention all this to explain why my posts have been so sporadic, and almost after-the-fact, this week. It also explains why I've neither approved nor rejected comments for the past few days -- 'cause I ain't read none of 'em. You may have also noticed that the fonts and layout of the Nigh Seen Creeder was f'ed up for a couple of days. I tinkered with the HTML a bit to make room for pictures of the bumper stickers I'll soon be selling -- Don't Blame Me, I Voted For McCain! -- and I messed somethin' up. It's fixed now, as am I. I'm hoping everything will be back to normal tomorrow.