Sunday, January 11, 2009


Can't nobody have fun no more

Almost two years ago, I won a Cleveland Hibiore XL driver in a contest sponsored by Golf magazine.

Said driver immediately became one of my prized possessions. I was playing golf with a fairly nice set of golf clubs when I received my Cleveland driver, but I'd never actually played golf until I received my Cleveland driver. That is, I'd never whacked balls farther, or played entire rounds of golf without a single slice or hook off the tee, until I got my until I got my high-dollar driver.

Well, it didn't take long for my driver - and other drivers like it - to become a menace to society. This from Sports Illustrated:

Issued by scientists in Scotland, a warning that golfers who use titanium drivers are risking damage to their hearing. The scientists found that the thin-faced clubs make a loud ping when they strike the ball. Dr. Malcolm Buchanan, an Edinburgh-trained ear, nose and throat specialist (and golfer), said the research showed the clubs "may produce sufficient sound to induce temporary or even permanent - cochlear damage in susceptible individuals." The report, which was cowritten by Buchanan for the British Medical Journal, advises players to consider earplugs.

If that's true, then why no warnings from Buchanan and other, er, scientists about hearing-related dangers from aluminum baseball bats? Ever heard someone smack the hell out of a baseball or softball with an aluminum bat? Talk about a "ping"! I played baseball for ten years (from age 8 to 18), almost year round, and 99 percent of time I used an aluminum bat. My hearing is just as good now -- probably better since I decided to play acoustic music exclusively -- as it was when I was 18.

You know, I've always enjoyed the sound of locusts buzzing on hot summer days. Next thing you know, some busy-body doctor is gonna tell me that the sounds of summer are bad for you. You think I'm kidding ...

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