Tuesday, January 20, 2009


"A poet I'm"

Back in the late 1990s, there was a Internet message board called Bianca's Poetry Shack (I think) at which self-righteous and supposedly educated individuals would post line after line after line of the most tediously idiotic poetry known to man. When I needed an extra good laugh, I would whip up a few lines of verse and see what kind of response I could elicit from my fellow "poets." I would be all cryptic and arcane, and I would always begin my poems with a little introduction to demonstrate that I was totally full of myself.

One of my poems was an autobiographical poem that began with the line A poet I'm. I then had another 12-14 lines of crap that ended with words that rhymed with "I'm," like "chime" and "sublime." I had a half-dozen folks who went on and on in a very long message thread talking about great was my poem. In fact, each and every poem I posted on that there message board got compliments and encouragements, as well as comments from folks who attempted to "deconstruct" what I was saying.

I couldn't help but think about my short stint as a "serious" poet as I was listening to Elizabeth Alexander's poem at B. Hussein Obama's coronation, er, inauguration. You can read a transcript of the poem here.

I'm of the opinion that Obama should've invited a six-year-old boy or girl to opine on their favorite Cartoon Network show instead of having an inaugural poet. I mean, having some cherubic boy or girl appear on the stage for five minutes would've been worth, like, a million political brownie points with Middle America. And, more importantly, anything a Little Junior or Little Miss Junior said about Transformers Animated or Skunk Fu! would be at least, or more, profound than anything a poet plucked from the halls of Yale could say.

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