Sunday, June 13, 2010


World Cup, Shmurld Cup

Soccer was invented by European housewives as a way to keep busy while their husbands did the cooking.

-- Hank Hill

Back in the late 90s, I went to my first (and last) soccer game. It was a "professional" match in which Nashville's mighty (!) Metros squared off against some team outta Iowa. Or was it Indiana? Or, maybe, Illinois? I don't remember, and I don't ****in' care to remember.

A former, ahem, lady friend of mine dragged me to that God-forsaken soccer game, and I damn her for it to this day. You see, I was so thoroghly underwhelmed by my one and only soccer experience, I remember exactly what I said to myself when we were leaving: "That's three hours of my life I'll never have back to do anything of consequence."

This is a pretty good depiction of what went on in that game ...

... and, even though I'm not a betting man, I'll wager this year's entire World Cup will be no different.

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